I am the master of productivity
Yeah. Right.
Had the laziest Christmas holiday time. Evah. It was beautiful. Seems the laziness is still hanging around in bits and pieces.
Managed to motivate my lazy ass outta bed and off to the gym. Too bad it made me totally late for work. But eh, who cares.
Then I rolled into the office (breaking the dress code once again) and sat around for a bit, created a few pretty reports and then got down to the important business of slacking.
In the time I've been here (somewheres around 9.40) I've done the following:
* read a bunch of blogs
*surfed the net for information on laser hair removal (don't ask...it's not for me)
*made a pretty report (actually work related!)
*wandered around the department a few times
*ate waaaaaaay too much chocolate
*sent an email to HR basically admitting that I'm a fucking slacker and could I please get another extension on something that was due well over a week ago?
*had my sniveling email ignored by HR
*cursed HR to burn in hell
*dissed our marketing team at least 20 times
*wished I could be a marketing goon. Cause really, where else could you come up with an idea that negatively impacts over 100 employees but looks great on paper and at the end of the project you get a bonus cause hey, you moved a million new policies?
Hope y'all had a great Christmas/Hanukah/Kwaanza/Booze fest.
I think I'm gonna go for another wander round the building.
Damn, I love this time of year!
Monday, December 29, 2003
Tuesday, December 23, 2003
I'm dreaming of a rainy Christmas
Awww yeah. I could happily sleep through Christmas (put Christ back in Christmas!) this year. I'm a tired monkey. A veddy tired monkey. Shit.
Plus the weather bites my ass. It's raining. Hardcore. Nothing says Christmas like rain. *sigh* And I'm not even a big fan of Christmas and I'm all bummed out at the craptastic weather.
All the visiting and running around began last week. Sleep is scheduled for the new year. At least that's what I'm hoping. Trying not to think of new years and what my hipster plans should be. Dang.
Still doing a whack of tests & appointments. Still not loving a minute of it. No siree. I'll be glad when (if) it's all over.
Excitement of the week? I bought an eye patch for my wonky left eye. I said "arrrgh" a lot and just about peed myself laughing. Yes, it's come down to eye patches to keep me amused. Heh. It's a rocking eye patch. You'd all love it. For real.
Awww yeah. I could happily sleep through Christmas (put Christ back in Christmas!) this year. I'm a tired monkey. A veddy tired monkey. Shit.
Plus the weather bites my ass. It's raining. Hardcore. Nothing says Christmas like rain. *sigh* And I'm not even a big fan of Christmas and I'm all bummed out at the craptastic weather.
All the visiting and running around began last week. Sleep is scheduled for the new year. At least that's what I'm hoping. Trying not to think of new years and what my hipster plans should be. Dang.
Still doing a whack of tests & appointments. Still not loving a minute of it. No siree. I'll be glad when (if) it's all over.
Excitement of the week? I bought an eye patch for my wonky left eye. I said "arrrgh" a lot and just about peed myself laughing. Yes, it's come down to eye patches to keep me amused. Heh. It's a rocking eye patch. You'd all love it. For real.
Wednesday, December 17, 2003
Sleep deprivation makes me zen
Steven Segal has got nothing on me.
I was chatting with a friend about making life decisions and I, having not slept properly in almost two months became one zen motherfucker. She was questioning a bunch of things and I simply said "be the answer". Kinda cool, but at the same time it made me realise something....I HAVE to get a few decent nights of sleep. Soon. Cause if it doesn't happen in the near future, I could start spouting some really messed up "zen" like things.
Imagine, I'll be at the photocopier going on about how the fluttering of a butterfly's wings could set off the toner of life or how the stapler is like the alligator of the office world, docile yet crazy dangerous. Geezus.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get a good night's sleep? No mention of sleeping pills...they only put me into a horrible dead sleep that leaves me feeling insane the next day. Make it a creative suggestion, I could use something nifty sounding.
Steven Segal has got nothing on me.
I was chatting with a friend about making life decisions and I, having not slept properly in almost two months became one zen motherfucker. She was questioning a bunch of things and I simply said "be the answer". Kinda cool, but at the same time it made me realise something....I HAVE to get a few decent nights of sleep. Soon. Cause if it doesn't happen in the near future, I could start spouting some really messed up "zen" like things.
Imagine, I'll be at the photocopier going on about how the fluttering of a butterfly's wings could set off the toner of life or how the stapler is like the alligator of the office world, docile yet crazy dangerous. Geezus.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get a good night's sleep? No mention of sleeping pills...they only put me into a horrible dead sleep that leaves me feeling insane the next day. Make it a creative suggestion, I could use something nifty sounding.
Monday, December 15, 2003
S'all about the Christmas cheer
Yeah. It's all good these days. Spent the weekend with the gal and learned what it feels like to be stinkin' happy. I don't think it gets any better than this! I even managed to finish the bulk of my Christmas shopping. Now the wrapping. Dear lord, the wrapping. I doubt I'll ever see the end of it. *sigh* If I could get away with it, I'd just hand the gifts off, all "wrapped" in plastic bags. Heh.
Went to see my doctor today (yes, the appointments have started again). Things are pretty much the same. Doing lots of blood work next week and more follow up visits. I told my manager what was going on (finally). He actually surprised me and asked how I was holding up. Dude, I almost cried I was so caught off guard.
I'm a wee bit distracted these days, but I'm happy. Very happy. The throat, well, I could do without it, but hey...my friends are coming home for the holidays, I'm reconnecting with people I haven't spoken to in forever and I've got the love of a good woman. I'd say that is what makes the holidays special.
Yeah. It's all good these days. Spent the weekend with the gal and learned what it feels like to be stinkin' happy. I don't think it gets any better than this! I even managed to finish the bulk of my Christmas shopping. Now the wrapping. Dear lord, the wrapping. I doubt I'll ever see the end of it. *sigh* If I could get away with it, I'd just hand the gifts off, all "wrapped" in plastic bags. Heh.
Went to see my doctor today (yes, the appointments have started again). Things are pretty much the same. Doing lots of blood work next week and more follow up visits. I told my manager what was going on (finally). He actually surprised me and asked how I was holding up. Dude, I almost cried I was so caught off guard.
I'm a wee bit distracted these days, but I'm happy. Very happy. The throat, well, I could do without it, but hey...my friends are coming home for the holidays, I'm reconnecting with people I haven't spoken to in forever and I've got the love of a good woman. I'd say that is what makes the holidays special.
Thursday, December 11, 2003
Things I have discovered and/or learned this week
*Offering Christmas Cheer in the form of a punch to the throat gets people to leave you alone
*reading thyroid newsletters/findings/studies out loud is the fuckin' funniest thing you could ever do with a loved one. If you can pronounce "Hypoparathryoidism" in one shot, I will bow at your feet. If you can define it, I'll clean your house for a weekend.
*I can't quit Weasel Central until March 2004 and that makes me wanna cry
*upper management is good for um, I'll get back to you on that one
*I've got a great group of friends who rock your face off
*my gal rocks the mofo casbah. Hardcore.
*decaf tea sucks ass. Really.
*cutting down on my alcohol intake isn't too bad. nor is increasing the amount of time I spend in the gym.
*Offering Christmas Cheer in the form of a punch to the throat gets people to leave you alone
*reading thyroid newsletters/findings/studies out loud is the fuckin' funniest thing you could ever do with a loved one. If you can pronounce "Hypoparathryoidism" in one shot, I will bow at your feet. If you can define it, I'll clean your house for a weekend.
*I can't quit Weasel Central until March 2004 and that makes me wanna cry
*upper management is good for um, I'll get back to you on that one
*I've got a great group of friends who rock your face off
*my gal rocks the mofo casbah. Hardcore.
*decaf tea sucks ass. Really.
*cutting down on my alcohol intake isn't too bad. nor is increasing the amount of time I spend in the gym.
Monday, December 08, 2003
Ah, Monday, How I hate thee...
Well, only kinda. It's not that bad.
I'm trying to get used to the burning throat sensation. I'm not succeeding amazingly, but it's better than nothing.
Weasel Central is being the usual. So that's nothing new. And my revenge today? I look like I just rolled outta bed. It's great. I couldn't even be bothered to tuck in my shirt. One better, I forgot my belt. I'm better than a homeless guy on too much hooch. Yee haw. Boobies. Uh, I have no idea where that came from (actually, I do...Zoe, that was so for you).
I thought one of my friends was trying to avoid me after I called her with my cruddo news. The gal told me to talk to her and work it out. So I did. Turns out that I'm just a tad bit sensitive this week. Let's hear it for hormones!!! Guh. I like feeling like an emotional water buffalo. Makes me feel sexxxy.
I have to finish my Christmas shopping this week. Must. Finish. Can't go on anymore. The crowds. The music. The sales people. It's really too much for me. I'll be happy when we're done with all this "Christmas Cheer". Especially since I've decided that my version of Christmas Cheer will be a well placed punch to the throat for those who tick me off. Better than a fruit cake anyday, doncha think?
Well, only kinda. It's not that bad.
I'm trying to get used to the burning throat sensation. I'm not succeeding amazingly, but it's better than nothing.
Weasel Central is being the usual. So that's nothing new. And my revenge today? I look like I just rolled outta bed. It's great. I couldn't even be bothered to tuck in my shirt. One better, I forgot my belt. I'm better than a homeless guy on too much hooch. Yee haw. Boobies. Uh, I have no idea where that came from (actually, I do...Zoe, that was so for you).
I thought one of my friends was trying to avoid me after I called her with my cruddo news. The gal told me to talk to her and work it out. So I did. Turns out that I'm just a tad bit sensitive this week. Let's hear it for hormones!!! Guh. I like feeling like an emotional water buffalo. Makes me feel sexxxy.
I have to finish my Christmas shopping this week. Must. Finish. Can't go on anymore. The crowds. The music. The sales people. It's really too much for me. I'll be happy when we're done with all this "Christmas Cheer". Especially since I've decided that my version of Christmas Cheer will be a well placed punch to the throat for those who tick me off. Better than a fruit cake anyday, doncha think?
Friday, December 05, 2003
Ohmigawd. It's official, this entire week bit my ass. Hard. Well, except for the two month thing, that was cool.
This whole being tested by the universe for a whole year has got to fucking stop. Really. I'm at wits end. I can barely make it through a day without wanting to crawl under my Weasel Central issued desk and cry myself to sleep. And that's a lot, cause I don't think the cleaners have really done their job around here in a long time. Dude, there's a six month old Cheerio under my desk.
The gal has been absolutely amazing to me through the week of hell. Though today she's feeling hormonal and rather rough. So I've been trying to be her own little cheerleader (minus the skimpy outfit, I'm afraid). Lotsa hugs and stuff, y'know.
Yesterday I went to the specialist with the gal (yes, she's that amazing). Yesterday I had a freak out in the car. And in the office. And on the drive home. And well, you get the picture. Kids, I'm not liking the way things are looking. Don't worry, I'll be okily dokily at the end of it all, I'm just overwhelmed by all the information I got yesterday. It's never a good thing when the specialist says she's a wee bit concerned with existing test results. Looks like my role as human pin cushion is far from over. I've got a biopsy scheduled for the new year, along with another ultrasound, and of course, oodles of bloodwork. Yay!
So here's the Coles notes version (if I know you very well (you know who you are) you'll get the whole story in person or over the phone or by email if you so desire) of what's doing: the lump in my throat is gettin' bigger. No one's happy with that kind of progress.
Thank you.
Right. I'm off to sit and stare blankly at my screen and wonder why I bothered coming into work again.
Remember kids, give your loved ones lotsa hugs and kissies. And not just cause you want them to buy you a PlayStation 2 (though it wouldn't hurt).
This whole being tested by the universe for a whole year has got to fucking stop. Really. I'm at wits end. I can barely make it through a day without wanting to crawl under my Weasel Central issued desk and cry myself to sleep. And that's a lot, cause I don't think the cleaners have really done their job around here in a long time. Dude, there's a six month old Cheerio under my desk.
The gal has been absolutely amazing to me through the week of hell. Though today she's feeling hormonal and rather rough. So I've been trying to be her own little cheerleader (minus the skimpy outfit, I'm afraid). Lotsa hugs and stuff, y'know.
Yesterday I went to the specialist with the gal (yes, she's that amazing). Yesterday I had a freak out in the car. And in the office. And on the drive home. And well, you get the picture. Kids, I'm not liking the way things are looking. Don't worry, I'll be okily dokily at the end of it all, I'm just overwhelmed by all the information I got yesterday. It's never a good thing when the specialist says she's a wee bit concerned with existing test results. Looks like my role as human pin cushion is far from over. I've got a biopsy scheduled for the new year, along with another ultrasound, and of course, oodles of bloodwork. Yay!
So here's the Coles notes version (if I know you very well (you know who you are) you'll get the whole story in person or over the phone or by email if you so desire) of what's doing: the lump in my throat is gettin' bigger. No one's happy with that kind of progress.
Thank you.
Right. I'm off to sit and stare blankly at my screen and wonder why I bothered coming into work again.
Remember kids, give your loved ones lotsa hugs and kissies. And not just cause you want them to buy you a PlayStation 2 (though it wouldn't hurt).
Thursday, December 04, 2003
Wow. Yesterday's post was cracked out. Way not to give the back story, Ren. Whooo.
Long story short, my AVP tried to rip me a new asshole for being honest. I told her that personally, I was not happy with a decision that had been made, but that professionally, I would stand behind it. Yes, kids, it went downhill from there. But that's okay. I just kept repeating my line and she got angrier and angrier until I finally just said, "Cool. Thanks anyways" and walked out. And then I came back to my desk and sent off a million resumes, called my mum, said the word "fuck" a lot (sorry, mum) and tried not to kill.
But in better news....I'm now at two months with the gal. Yee haw!
Long story short, my AVP tried to rip me a new asshole for being honest. I told her that personally, I was not happy with a decision that had been made, but that professionally, I would stand behind it. Yes, kids, it went downhill from there. But that's okay. I just kept repeating my line and she got angrier and angrier until I finally just said, "Cool. Thanks anyways" and walked out. And then I came back to my desk and sent off a million resumes, called my mum, said the word "fuck" a lot (sorry, mum) and tried not to kill.
But in better news....I'm now at two months with the gal. Yee haw!
Wednesday, December 03, 2003
Tuesday, December 02, 2003
Je suis une bad ass
I spent the weekend with the gal. That includes yesterday. The day she had off as a vacation day. The day I had off as a sick day. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I played hooky. Well, only partially. I was kinda sick (see multiple entries on my beloved thyroid & all those blood tests). Just like the pope is kinda shaky. You know it.
And now I'm at Weasel Central trying to figure out why I'm here, cause honestly, I could use another day of sleep. Cause that's right, I don't feel 100%.
Glad I came in today. Took me 50 minutes to do a 25 minute drive. Just over an hour to eat a McDonald's apple pie (keep it healthy baby) and over 2 hours to get through yesterday's emails. And the mail room keeps opening my "personal and confidential" mail. Bastards.
Off to a meeting I go. Once again, I know you envy me.
I spent the weekend with the gal. That includes yesterday. The day she had off as a vacation day. The day I had off as a sick day. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I played hooky. Well, only partially. I was kinda sick (see multiple entries on my beloved thyroid & all those blood tests). Just like the pope is kinda shaky. You know it.
And now I'm at Weasel Central trying to figure out why I'm here, cause honestly, I could use another day of sleep. Cause that's right, I don't feel 100%.
Glad I came in today. Took me 50 minutes to do a 25 minute drive. Just over an hour to eat a McDonald's apple pie (keep it healthy baby) and over 2 hours to get through yesterday's emails. And the mail room keeps opening my "personal and confidential" mail. Bastards.
Off to a meeting I go. Once again, I know you envy me.